Tag Archives: Mary Oliver

Love is in the Air

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Wedding flowers against a natural forest background

Wedding flowers


Love is in the Air! What can be better. And in the wise words of Mary Oliver, “If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it.”


I’ve had “Don’t Hesitate” pinned up by my desk for years, but never was it more apt than now. It was read as part of my daughter’s wedding ceremony. She and her partner are two of the kindest, most committed people, all too aware of lives and whole towns destroyed. They are active in the causes that matter to them (which are many) and live their values in all ways. In a world of unkindness, they are kind. Their kindness is a way of fighting back against the darkness. Their joy will never be made a crumb.

We all feasted on joy this weekend. The wedding was outdoors. We were surrounded by old cedars, the meadow was full of daisies, and we could hear the crash of the ocean waves in the background. There were friends and family, babies, and people soon to have babies. There was cooperation and full participation. Everyone took on something that helped make the day beautiful. Even the weather cooperated with the rain giving way to sun at the same time as the wedding started.

This was a three day gathering and a community that made it happen. We got to know everyone better. My daughter’s partner’s family is lovely, thoughtful, creative, full of heart. There were wonderful conversations and I came away amazed and heartened by the awareness and optimism of my daughter’s generation. They are living their values, using their skills, and committed to making this difficult world a place where there is still love and hope.

My deepest gratitude and love to all.

“Joy is not to be made a crumb.”

To Mary Oliver, in gratitude

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Why do we wait until someone dies to express our gratitude to them? Oh, Mary Oliver, I should have written you a letter.mary oliver

I’m not “good” at poetry. I’ve read it and taught it and tried and tried, but I don’t think I have a poetic spirit and then I read someone like Mary Oliver. I can’t say what it is about her poetry that I love. I can open any Mary Oliver volume any day on any page and find something consoling and inspirational. She is always there for me, on my bookshelf, ready to help.

A lifetime ago I was working with a school board and I was asked to deliver a graduation speech at a program for students who were pregnant. They were segregated, and although I recognized the possible need for their segregation, their difficulties in conforming to a regular school schedule and so on, I also felt it was simultaneously terrible. Maybe it was because I grew up in an era when teenage pregnancy was the height of disaster and I didn’t like the idea of these young women being hidden away, if that was what was happening. I thought about that group of young, expectant mothers, and I could not know if they felt supported or judged or somewhere in between. I could not know their future, but I knew I couldn’t make assumptions. Maybe it would be harder than mine was at their age. They would have a child. Or maybe it would be more joyful than mine was at their age because of that same child. Realistically, they might be facing economic hardship, struggle to find work and child care, they might be single parents. It was hard to know what to say.

I turned to Mary Oliver. As always, she knew what to say when I didn’t. I read them, “Wild Geese,” and even now, when I think about that poem in that context, I get teary. Oh, Mary Oliver, thank you for the words.

Today, I open the book Swan: Poems and Prose Poems to the prose poem, “Don’t Hesitate.” The first line reads, “If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it.” I am sad you are gone, Mary Oliver, but so joyful that you lived. Why do I feel that just maybe my gratitude to Mary Oliver is not too late? Why do I feel that she still might know? Why do I feel that she is flying above me, like the Wild Geese? “Don’t Hesitate” ends with the line, “Joy is not made to be a crumb.” No, it is not.